time to go home

So I took a glimpse of Montana
Now nothing else matters
I’ll heal eventually
How I adore you Dory Previn
Turned you up to eleven for the band’s ears to bleed

"Dory Previn", Camera Obscura

Singapore vs Malaysia

Went to the national stadium last night to catch the match between Singapore and Malaysia. The last time I was at the stadium, it was with vikram, pasta ian and sue, and it was quite hilarious watching pasta ian joining the singapore fans in boo-ing the indonesian team, before we romped to a 2-1 victory in the 2005 finals.

Last night, the whole motley bunch included abraham, ainsley, daniel, and abraham's primary 6 brother johannon (I think that is how his name is spelt). Christopher and his bourgeois gang were at the more expensive grandstand, while I think clement the observor was in the air-conditioned pressroom. It was quite strange that I also bump into dr rappa and his honors students in the stadium.

We almost couldn't make it to the stadium, as most of the tickets were sold out by Thursday afternoon. Not that I did a lot of legwork to get the tickets, ainsley was the one who did most of the running around. In the end, I did some web research and told him that his only chance of getting tickets is to go to this 4D shop in Bukit Batok. He was a bit afraid that the police will catch him for underaged 4D betting, and I reassured him that it will not happen, although i was crossing my fingers that pastor joe (his dad) won't find him there.

It was a really good atmosphere in the stadium, with the feet stomping and the Kallang wave. And there was the universal football whistle which goes something like this "bi bi bibibi bibi bibi [feel in the gap]" Usually people will probably chant 'Goal Goal!' or 'England!' in [feel in the gap]. But because our opponent is Malaysia, and they understand Malay, the whole stadium chanted 'Budoh!', which is roughly translated as 'backside!'. I didn't really know a lot of Singaporean players, besides China winger Shi Jiayi, Serbian midfielder Mustafic Fahrudin, African defender Precious Emuejeraye and English defender Daniel Bennett. Ok ok... I do know there were some Singaporeans in the Singapore team, such as Lionel Lewis and Indra Sahdan.

Actually, I didn't think they play that well, as compared to the nimble and quick Malaysians. I think Precious literally 'stood out' for his performance. He is really the biggest guy in the game, and there was one time when the crowd broke into laughter in the way he twist and turn around, and any malaysians that tried to take him down simply rebounded and fell to the ground. He was also the one who sent this super 30 meter pile driver into the goalpost, which the keeper saved, but caused him to have multiple backache injuries subsequently. Everytime the goalie went down to the floor and required medical attention for his backache, the whole stadium would boo him for time wasting. There was also this bald left winger who was quite maligned. From our side of the stadium, we kept shouting 'Botak!' everytime he touches the ball. Heard from Chris that it was the same story at the other end of the stadium, when the teams switched sides. Daniel (who is botak), felt a bit sorry for him.

So we won 6-5 on penalties. The Singapore leg for the finals is this coming wednesday. I can't make it though. Oh well. I better start typing my thesis soon!

2 Samuel 24:24

But the king said to Araunah, "No, but I will buy it from you for a price. I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God that cost me nothing." So David bought the threshing floor and the oxen for fifty shekels of silver.

The problem with being a social science student is that sometimes, especially in my field, I feel that it is quite a pessimistic, amoral and sometimes evil discipline. Often, I need to remind myself of the bigger schemes of things that govern life. I guess that was what transpired in my conversations with pastor Joshua and Angie from the mission department yesterday. Was looking at the following website, which happens to be a course that I would have to take should I do Tribute, which is a one-year program with church. Anybody wants to come on board?

http://www.ywam.org.sg/dts.htm

I was counting my 'costs' last night. It adds up to a neat number of 5. Of which, I felt number 1 was quite costly. In a strange way, it is quite an experience to grasp biblical knowledge in the head and transfer it into some sort of an action-call in the heart. It is a torturous and joyful process at the same time.

I should let my words be few from now on with regards to Tribute, until the masters scholarships results are out.

Two Daughters

During yesterday's pop culture class, we were watching a film on how the CIA launched a series of terrorist attacks on Chile during the 1970s. One comment by a Chilean resonated with my senses quite a bit; he says that 'Hope has two daughters, Anger and Courage. Anguish because of the present, and courage to change the future'. It might sound tacky to some, but I cannot agree with him more.

Just today, I was watching another documentary on BBC which provided a pretty lucid journalistic account of the situation in Palestine. In one particular scene, it focused on an EU diplomat who visited a hospital in Palestine to see what sort of medical aid EU can provide. The Palestine doctors were working for free, and they were running out of drugs and other medical supplies. After showing the EU diplomat beds after beds of Palestinians patients, the EU diplomat gave a verdict that they will provide petrol for the running of the hospital electricity. As the journalist (I assume he is a British) asked the Palestine doctor how he feels about the EU visit, he gave a matter-of-fact reply: "I think they are like you, they are only interested on what is happening". After a momentary pause, the journalist asked him if the EU diplomat has made any differences, he replied: "no, i think there is no difference between the two of you". Hmmm... I felt that hope, anguish and courage were enmeshed together all at once in that Palestinian doctor.

The above photo was taken in Berlin, during my slightly aimless sojourn in Europe. The walls were constructed as a way to remind the Germans of world war 2. There was no information board to suggest what those walls represent; it was intentionally designed for an open interpretation of what those walls mean for the viewer. A common interpretation was the sense of lost and fear that the Jews felt as they walked through the alleys of Auschwitz.

Sometimes, when I sit back and think for a while, this world really doesn't quite give a lot of hope, in a macro and a micro sense. It is not the Creator's fault of course. We have an incredible ability to self-destruct. I can only be an observor of macro hopelessness in the Mideast and other crazy parts of the world. And I can only be an informed observor to the extent that the global media is willing to report them in an objective manner. For me, it takes a lot of anguish and courage just to maneuver hope against hopelessness in the micro things of life. War - the direct embodiment of anger and courage at a mass level - is perhaps a necessary condition to fight against hopelessness in the macro things of this world.

Pseudo Eurocrats

http://www.delsgp.ec.europa.eu/en/about_us/internships.htm

Hmmm.. sounds fun. Might as well right since I'm writing 10000 words on it? Unpaid though.

Things to thank God for

I think I got a bit overly enthusiatic with meeting up some of the guys in my ex-cell (I'm leading a new bunch of sec ones now with Wai On, while Hewlett and Abraham take over the boys). You see, some of them have either undergone a 180 degree transformation since church camp last dec (they even text me bible verses! quite rare for punk boys), express a desire to come back to church/cluster/cell, or decide to pray a bit more because of their transitions in their teenage lives. I tried to capture that fire by meeting up with them a bit more intentionally and regularly. But I think the cell leader himself is not doing too good a job with managing his time between thesis and ministry. For the past few nights, I got really tired by 9pm, but I found it a bit hard to sleep until 1am or so. There is just this strange eclectic mix of thoughts in my head that makes me hard to settle down and sleep - thinking of the 5 chapters in my thesis, running through the conversations I had with the guys, upcoming events that vic and I are planning for heartbeat, and strangely marvel and DC comic heroes, which is somewhat a new thing that I've picked up in recent weeks. It just dawn upon me that the comic characters in x-men, batman, superman, wonderwoman etc tell a narrative that reflects American society and politics to a large extent, and their narratives change over the years as American culture changes. Duh... I know it is mundane political blah again, but it is a new thing to me in understanding the connection between politics and pop culture. Ever since I stopped the idea of going to mfa, I've been wondering what use is PS besides making one a rather cynical newspaper reader. Maybe the answer lies in movies, comics, photography etc; gives me a reason to indulge in the 'low art' of pop culture.

So I guess there are things to thank God for, in the midst of a slightly tiring and overloaded week. Seeing the boys in my ex-cell slowly morphing into marvel heroes for God. Seeing myself running the race with them. And maybe I should include my painful thesis into the thanking list. It is really tough going now. Habermas is not a very friendly guy to understand. So is Gramsci. Can be a pretty discouraging process not knowing what to write (with 2 more months to thesis deadline). But at least I get to write a thesis, which is quite a cool thing. If you can pray for me, pray that I won't get too discouraged easily in the thesis, and that I'll find strength to lead the marvel heroes in my cluster.

First week in school

The first week of school went by quickly. I didn't accomplish as much as I thought I could have. Indian dinner with pastor Ian was great, and getting my shoe wet while walking towards national museum was fun. The year ahead seems challenging, even though I'm not so sure what the path will be like after my final exam. Tribute in SJSM - Is it a calling, a command, an invitation, a figment of my imagination, or really nothing much at all? If God could redesign time, I wish He could allow us to live in 'parallel time zones', where we can exercise all our choices at the same time. The brain burns and the heart aches when choices, decisions and consequences move in a linear fashion. If God could redesign space, I wish He could just create a 'while-loop' in space; the type of programming code that allows a function to repeat itself in a ceaseless manner. There are points in life when you experience a certain sense of dumbfounded joy that is quite uncomparable to any other experiences, and so you wish it repeats itself forever, never mind the lack of progress. It is a strange post I know, but that pretty much sums up my first week of school. I need to be still before God.

iConsumerism!

http://events.apple.com.edgesuite.net/j47d52oo/event/

It was a really smooth presentation by Steve Jobs. How he uses Keynote to address the launch of iPhone, which incorporates ipod, phone and safari in a touch-screen surface. No qwerty keyboard and even the usual number pad! And you basically replace the stylus with your finger, and I'm quite impressed by the very friendly user interface for this pretty revolutionary design. Pretty slick stuff. I was actually glued to the screen for almost an hour and a half watching Steve Jobs spin and scroll his stuff. The whole speech is about 2 hours. Feel like mac-chanizing my life now, after my recent canonization with pixma and EOS 400D... heh.

Hope

Behind the wall hides a beautiful chord.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith - more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire - may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

1 Peter 1: 3- 9

Thinking about Art, that compels you

Check it out! The Necessary Stage is back with their third MI Fringe Fest. For those who are familiar with Karl Marx's works, you will know that Marx has argued that Capitalism is "the necessary stage" to Communism. Well, I think capitalism is here to stay, and Marx never quite lived to complete his works. So his necessary stage is highly debatable. I don't think TNS is out there to convert Singapore to some strange happy communist land, but I think they like to push for changes in contemporary social issues in Singapore through art. The theme for this year is Art and Disability. Sounds like a good art fest to start 07.

Oh, I will be doing the module, "Politics, Art and Popular Culture", my first foray into a real 'Art' module in school. The prof who designed this module is one of the board of directors behind TNS. I guess I would be going for a few M1 events to understand a bit more about the interaction between politics and art. Anybody want to join me? Hopefully jimmy the pseudo arty fartso will not be so pseudo after the module. =p

http://www.singaporefringe.com/homepage.html

New Day, and waiting.

I woke up today, not exactly on the right side of the bed. I usually feel a bit wasted when I wake up after 12. I slept at about 4am last night. Wanted to start 2007 right by packing up my room, start the People's Proposal, as well as re-start my honors thesis research. It is a 're-start' because Dr Reuben felt that my previous research - about Russia's role in EU-China relations - was a bit flimsy. So I have to think again about my thesis. I'm thinking of coming up with a systematic theory to look at EU-China relations. There aren't many guys out there who theorize state-to-state relationships. So maybe it is worth a try. As with regards to People's Proposal, Vic and me are in charge of 'people' in Youth Ministry now, and our roles are to come up with a structure to look after the pastoral needs of the kids in church. We met up last week to come up with a super crony plan to get everyone involve in mentoring, and we are also toying with the idea of coming up with a youth website as well as a Heartbeat Alumni email network. I guess the idea is to make the 'inter-generational' aspect of SJSM to be more intergenerational.

Oh well, I'm not sure what happens, but the whole afternoon flew past and I accomplished none of the above! Was reading a mixture of stuff from the church's Season of Life magazine, Piper's 'Future Grace', and John Stott's 'New issues facing Christians today', and erm, Chee Soon Juan's 'Your Future, My Faith, Our Freedom'. Chee is a Christian, and is currently serving a short sentence behind bars for some civil disobedience stuff; I'm not sure if he is out yet, should be soon. He is not my hero, but at least he spices up local politics.

I reckon I'll need another week before I am fully functional for 2007. Packing up different sectors of my room. Throwing away old notes. Printing new notes. Repairing my printer and my camera. Developing photos that I took in China and Korat during mid 2006. A lot of things happened in 2006. I'm glad they happened, because they convicted me even more of what I believe in, what I want, what I hope for, and what I'm waiting for. With regards to ministry, I'm not sure what this year will bring, the boys are no longer boys to some extent. Pastor Ian is going to Laos, and I'm thinking of doing a recce trip in july or dec to see the feasibility of our Lao coffee club project. Was talking to Chun Chia, my JC good friend, and he told me to go Athens to catch Champions' League Final together on 23 May; actually it might work out because we are thinking of backpacking in Europe in May, together with daniel and diana.

Yeah, I think I need a week before I am fully functional. I do want to simplify life. =)