Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Chapter 1... and 2, 3, 4....

My prof agrees with me that the scholars who studied Walzer's thoughts are all quite crappy. But he feels that I've dedicated too much time on these crappy scholars in chapter 1. He thinks that literature review is quite a waste of time in philosophy because we are simply reviewing ideas about other people's ideas. He thinks that there will be more payoff if I proceed to chapter 2 now with my independent ideas. While he is not suggesting that my chapter 1 is going down the drain, he thinks that it will 'naturally' be severely revamped once I put in my independent thoughts for chapter 2, 3 and 4.

He wants me to churn out my independent thoughts as soon as possible for 2, 3 and 4.

This is not easy at all. I feel encouraged and discouraged at the same time. But I think I should feel less. Not much room to be emo with thinking people. I wish that there are more feeling people around.

On another note, I've been following news quite closely. Somehow I think that recession is going to affect me next year.

On another note, I feel like I'm an amoeba, with no self-agency, or maybe with very limited agency. It is funny how our motivations, worldviews, decisions and sense of survival are highly shapely by our circumstances, even when we try to deny the effects of our circumstances. Yet there is a sense of liberty in amoeba-like agency. I can't quite explain it except that - technically speaking - the amoeba shouldn't have to worry about life since worrying cannot change the pathway of the amoeba's existence, which is conditioned by life. Like what St Paul says, 'you are not your own'. So in Christian jargon, why worry when God is taking charge of things - both good and bad - in the natural order of things? Just go with the flow, like the amoeba. Amoeba's rights to self-determination resides in its ability to comprehend the rules of life. Self-determination presupposes wisdom. Maybe God gives clarity to our sense of self-determination since He can inform us on the purpose of self-determination.

Too much abstract principles... time to hit back to reality.