Thursday, November 29, 2007

Why we live

I was reading Reuben's blog. He was one of the five national dragon boaters who were involved in last Friday's mishap. I do not know any of them. But reading Reuben's blog was inspiring; his passion for music, sports and life, despite struggles that strangers like me do not know, but can only sense. Perhaps his music resonated in me of a spirit who yearns to make a difference in life, but was unfortunately cut short by Providence.

I was thinking about last night as well. It was a good night of driving around, a nice way to wrap up the year. I thought the blue Christmas lights at Orchard were nice. Been thinking how I've fallen short of my own expectations this year. I guess in the midst of good and bad times, life is indeed precious and worth living and fighting for. And beyond the daily strivings, family and good friends are the most precious gifts that God can ever give in this short and fleeting life.

'Reuben's blog'

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Re-learning what I have unlearnt

'How to fight for joy in everyday life'

Well... I guess I've been listless and forgot how to smile along the way. So this is a good sermon. I guess the difficulty is to put in some sort of a daily discipline to focus on what is true but tough to do, which for me can be as simple as just experiencing joy. Yeah, experiencing joy can be difficult for me, though once in a while, I do encounter what Edmund Burke might call the 'Sublime and the Beautiful' (1757).

Maybe God has blessed me with weird difficulties as a way for me to channel my energy towards Him. But I've been lazy to turn towards Him. I rather just go read books or sleep these days. Maybe that is the problem with free will? We have agency in exercising choices, but our choices lead us to valleys where we know we should not go. Still we are compelled by our sense of freedom, intellect and creativity to wade through depths of murky waters. In freedom, there is much irony. But in irony, you don't always find liberty.

If you guys are keen to learn how to smile, click on the link. It is probably good to listen to the audio rather than read the text.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Good Company on a Rainy Monday

Met the bridge gang today for dinner. We were supposed to go holland for dinner and then play bridge but di couldn't make it at the last moment, so the 3 of us - dan, jac and me - decide to just eat at city hall. Was good catching up, jac says that Ram is getting married! Maybe he'll send invitation cards to some of the VK people. He made super good pratas while we were in Cambodia. I remember our group made 'Singapore' pineapple fried rice back then, I still got the horrid kitchen photos.. ha.

Had lunch earlier with sar, another dear VK friend. She got me a cool flipbook + notebook/pencil case from Japan! :) So I finally have a pencil case after many years. There have been too many scraps of papers flying around my table (and inside my brain too) these days; they are full of multi-colored mind-maps and notes of random ideas, thoughts and theories for my coming thesis and other random academic interests. I think the muji notebook will come in really handy, gets me organized, and helps me find my pens and highlighters when I need to jot down ideas in the train or bus.

Shall go read my steppenwolf book now. Last 80 pages. Hopefully I'll wake up in time for some invigilation briefing in school at 8..


Diana Wu with her super poser coke shot in Cambodia!

Saturday, November 17, 2007

saturday

went to catch the andy warhol exhibition off mohammad sultan road today with a whole bunch of people from soci dept and church. i suppose it is a pretty decent exhibtion, but won't say it is worth dying to go. it did give me thought bubbles to photocopy my mao zedong poster at home, and then andy-warholize it with crayons and markers. Anyway, the exhibition ends tmr so there is still time to check it. had japanese dinner after that, but i think the fried chickens have aggravated my cough and sore throat... for the second time in a month I think. so i'm going to drink hot water, sleep and hopefully be able to wake up for church tmr.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Good song for a nice day!


Good Song, Blur

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Where paths have never been crossed



I think if there can be such a thing as a semiotic reading of people's blogs, then maybe it is quite possible for people to blog with a particular 'horizon' of audience in mind. The blogger is the author, the text signifies the author's world, and the contents are written in a way by which the author wants the audience to interpret in a particular manner. Reading friend's blog can be celebrative and alienating at the same time. You celebrate because you identify with, and participate in, the author's world. But the same act of celebration instructs you of the limited possibilities by which you can ever 'truly' participate in the author's world. You gaze at the screen with a particular despair, and the screen becomes the locus of your mediation between reality and representation. You see, the subject that is being represented in the screen, speaks of a reality that is quite out of reach, out of bound, out of touch. Maybe this is how I feel when, on days when I'm kay poh, would survey the archived records of other friend's blogs. It is quite illuminating because a cursory glance across an archived period of say, 12 months, would make you realize that the author, usually unintended, has already signified a world that you can never participate. Your real paths have never crossed each other, but the represented paths do share a certain history together, at least within cyber space, where everyone shares a certain public signified objectivity of themselves. Sometimes, you will actualize the represented by meeting up with the author of the blog. But maybe I am just playing with mirror; it has never been the real deal.

The above photo was taken in a train ride to Poland. One of the slightly longer journeys that we undertook.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Hero of the Month: Henri Bergson

Okie, I must admit that I have not read much about him. In fact, I only knew him today. But, this french philosopher has many interesting philosophies that might give me a clue about how art and ideology works. Not that I am keen to pursue that area as my dissertation because the only credible prof who can do such amazing supervision has left the department. Anyway, I think Bergson is leftist, platonic, darwinian and freudian all at once. It has been postulated that his theory of 'intuition' and 'Élan Vital' is able to shed light on the rationalities behind some of the artistic movements during the interwar years, such as dadaism, surrealism, cubism and futurism. Right up my own little un-enlightened valley because I've been keen to find out how these movements come together.

I'll go library now to borrow a book about how Bergson's theories are able to shed light on the birth of the modern museum. Think I'll push my much procrastinated friggin stupid stats assignment to another day. Today shall be jimmy's self-indulging day in the nonsensical world of meaningless art. Will leave you guys with a quote by Bergson on comedy, which was taken from a book which I stumbled upon in Prague. I feel like meditating on those words:



"The first point to which attention shoud be called is that the comic does not exist outside the pale of what is strictly human. A landscape maybe beautiful, charming and sublime, or insignificant and ugly; it will never be laughable. You may laugh at an animal, but only because you have detected in it some human attitude or expression. You may laugh at a hat, but what you are making fun of, in this case, is not the piece of felt or straw, but the shape that men have given it - the human caprice whose mould it has assumed...

... Here I would point out, as a symptom equally worthy of notice, the absence of feeling which usually accompanies laughter. It seems as though the comic could not produce its disturbing effect unless it fell, so to say, on the surface of a soul that is thoroughly calm and unruffled. Indifference is its natural environment, for laughter has no greater foe than emotion. I do not mean that we could not laugh at a person who inspires us with pity, for instance, or even with affection, but in such a case we must, for the moment, put our affection out of court and impose silence upon our pity. In a society composed of pure intelligences there would probably be no more tears, though perhaps there would still be laughter."


Perhaps there is an intimate reciprocity between self-contempt and extraordinary self-satisfaction. Only when one has fallen out with oneself and no longer suffers with a good conscience, only in the throes of stricken vanity, only then does one become a pitiful and repulsive spectacle unto himself in his own tragic-comedy.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

teachers




from left to right: Mat, me, Angel, Aileen, Angeline, An Dian

haha, aileen finally sent me the one and only group photo which suggested my existence in nj. Mat is the one who intro me to jap anime and hongkong pop, and she is quite a fun teacher to talk to. Angel is my church friend who was also my colleague, i'll usually share my deconstructed thoughts about njc/moe, education and bureaucracy with her at the canteen. Aileen was my 'direct boss'. i'll usually ask her for help for many admin and teaching stuff. i dun usually talk to Angeline. but on days when i do talk to her, she always laugh. i dunno why she always laugh. but i guess it is good to be cheerful :)

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Singapore Is Not My Home

'Top Ten Most Liveable Cities'

My favourite paris and brussels are not inside though. Though I've never stayed long enough to know how it is really like... I think the main difference between some European cities and Singapore is that Europe is so so so much more quieter. It is the quietness that I really miss. Even in the slightly crowded cities, you can find pockets of solitude, emptiness and peacefulness. You can be yourself, walking or reading a book in the garden, dip your feet in the lake, entertain your own world of thoughts and stay Invisible. No expectations whatsoever. That is my cup of blissfulness and simplicity. I hope heaven is something like that.