Updates from the land of smiles

I'm in Korat right now on a 30 baht/ hr ADSL internet service. Been a pretty good trip so far. Good in the sense that we aren't staying in mosquito infested open areas but actually in a suite with queen size bed per person! Hmmm... God's providence?

So far, we have

1) Visited the missionaries in Alpha Center, such as Pastor Dickson, Julie, Wee Shun, Kim Yien and Tong.

2) Did outreach by playing games and teaching English language to students in Nakhon Rachasima Sec School. Felt a bit like what we did in Sri Lanka, when we had to break into impromtu sing-along christian songs (remixed a bit so as not to offend the Buddhists).

3) Did hostel survey to introduce Thai Uni students to the new Alpha Center.

4) Visited a fish farm in the countryside. The owner of this fish farm is a christian but his family isn't. He invited us over for dinner as a way for us to reach out to his family. It was pouring heavily when we there, and by the time the sky was dark, there were many bugs flying around. I was ok with it, since nothing beats the swarm of flying cockroaches that I had to sleep through in a field camp way back in NS. But of course, the 2 princesses of the team, Amelia and Brenda, both 13 year old, were like super edgy and jumpy. Created a bit of a commotion when I had to shoo off this snake for them while they were stuck in a toilet. But anyway, it was a meaningful night as Timothy managed to share the story of Jesus to them.

5) Visited a slum just off the railway track opposite our hotel. It wasn't part of our program, but I felt the need to visit them, since Tong is working on a series of projects with them through World Vision. Playing football with the 5 year olds down there reminded me of Mr Broody of Cambodia. The visit to the slum struck a spiritual chord in us, and we are thinking of giving our financial love gift to this four orphans that, according to Tong, are in dire need of financial assistance.

We will be facilitating more English lessons for the rest of this trip at Vongchavalitkul University, doing outreach to students at this 'Center for Delinquents', as well as doing more hostel surveys.

On a more reflective note, I have kinda assume that this might be my last mission trip for a while, as I thought that I would be working next year and it would be hard to take leave and stuff like that.

YWAM preached the idea of 'Go-er', 'Sender', Mobilizer' or 'Welcomer' as we become 'World Christians', and I thought maybe I'll be more of a mobilizer in the future, having been blessed with the opportunity to be a go-er to the fields 4 times in the last 5 years or so.

Hmmmm, but I don't know; maybe this isn't the last mission trip for me, if you guys know what I mean. Such thoughts can be exciting but scary at the same time. Words like 'long term' and 'full time' really scares me. Oh well, 1 more year to figure everything out!

Prayer Request:

1) That the team will continue to see things from the eyes of their heart, and from God's perspectives.

2) For strength and good health.

3) To do His will and not our own programs and agendas.

4) For Min Sin and her family.

5) Lastly, quite a bourgeoi prayer request; that somehow God will sort out my euro plans cos I haven't done anything at all! Been doing mission preps for the past three weeks and it almost took the wind out of me a few days prior to leaving Singapore. But thank God for His sustainence and strength, and I really feel that He is giving me the second wind to last the 2nd half of this year.

That's all folks. Keep the smses coming!

John 15:5: "...apart from me you can do nothing"

You know the verse in John 15:5 which says that "for apart from me you can do nothing"?

Since coming back from China, this verse has popped into my prayer consciousness a few times. First was during the GoFest at the Expo, when one of the speakers spoke of the need to really stick it close with God during mission trips, for apart from Him, we will absolutely have no power whatsoever to be the light and salt of the earth. I think that is quite a liberating statement, cos it removes all the self imposed stress as to how we could bring across important messages in a cross cultural environment.

This verse pops out again when I did my first ever 'sermon' in United World College last tuesday, to give a lesson on 'The Rational Basis for my Faith'. It was part of the Theory of Knowledge syllabus in UWC and they had invited people from different religions to present their empirical perspectives. Actually, I wasn't suppose to go at all, but it so happened that Pastor Ian, for the past 20 days or so, could not find anyone from his circle of Bible college and pastoral friends to deliver the lesson. Even the top two speakers in Youth ministry, Danger Dan and Huan Yang, were away in Cambodia. So in the end, it was down to three humble servants, Ailing Hanmin and myself, together with Pastor Ian, to take on 6 classes of UWC students who are known to be pretty agnostic in their worldviews.

The first 20 minutes of ppt presentation were manageable enough, but the subsequent 20 minutes of Q&A were pretty tough, as questions range from defining trinity, to explaining suffering, to summarizing the canonization of the bible, and even the difference between Jesus and Socrates.

Thank God that we went through some of the tricky questions the day before. But still, you know sometimes, the answers just don't quite flow when you are defending your beliefs in front of 20 strangers. Once in a while I would press the panic button and refer the questions to Ailing. On other times, half my cerebral was proclaiming out to God that 'Apart from Him, I can do nothing', and somehow the words kinda flowed and I know it wasn't me speaking but God using me as his humble vessel.

John 15:5 pops out again in this book that I am currently reading, When I don't desire God: How to fight for Joy, by John Piper. It is interesting that Piper says that given our natural state, i.e being fleshy sinners and all, it is impossible for us to naturally find joy in God.

"For apart from me you can do nothing" (even finding joy in God).

John Piper went on to say that the only way that we can really find joy in God is to actually pray for joy.

Now this is quite an interesting point. Cos lets say that I love photography, and I find joy in taking pictures. It is evident that I do not have to pray for joy, or even need to fight for some sense of contentment and peace in photography because I am naturally addicted to photography. So if I switch the focus of my desire from the camera to God, it is interesting that I have to pray to God that He may give me the gift of joy in Him.

I haven't finished reading the book, but I think what Piper is trying to say is more than just about finding joy in the Giver, and not its gifts. It is about understanding how apart from Him I can (absolutely) do nothing, even finding contentment in life, and should He lifts his finger off me, I am truely spiritually and physically dead. And yet because of his mercy, I live on, and hopefully in the transformation process of knowing Him as a friend, and not as a servant (John 15:14-15), He will help me find joy even in the midst of so-called sufferings.

Quite an interesting note to bring to Thailand. Friends who know me long enough probably know that I'm not always a very joyful person; more on the broody side. And I think it is true that in my natural state (when I'm not prayerful, when I'm swept away by schoolwork, or when I'm doing a few ministry activities at one go), I can keep on 'doing', but not 'being'.

So I am still learning how to be joyful. Not that I am currently depressed or whatsoever; it is just that an over dosage of too many commitments tend to take the joy out of joyful things. So I've been a social recluse in order to rest and sit still with God. I think God desires us to be happy human beings, not broody human doings. It is possible to believe in a beautiful world, if we can hear His heart for us.

I hope this blog can somehow be a form of encouragement to all those who are searching and finding joy in Him.

Nostalgia and the word that tells him nothing

There is a certain nostalgia in using old pre-'windows XP' lappies. Been using my brother's 6 year old laptop that does not have a microsoft office, a few malfunctioning buttons and comes with a nice fungi-attacked LCD screen. At least the lan port is still working, and that is all I need to connect myself with the rest of the world. Okie... not quite, cos I am lazy to download msn messenger.

Speaking of nostalgia, try going to http://scholar.google.com/ , and search 'Time and Housing in Singapore: Becoming, History and Nostalgia'. Strange that they put my name as LW Chung. Oh well, I figured out my name isn't quite academic-superstarish to begin with. Dr Jimmy ??? Makes me sound like a drug or a deejay. I think if you want to qualify as a academic superstar, you need to have a respectable academic name; I think weird names like Susan Strange, Leotard, or Francis Fukuyama can either make or break the route to Phd stardom.

Anyway, I think I am a bit jaded. Which explains the less-than-positive outlook recently. The 4 days in Tioman (which I am really thankful for) weren't exactly power-boosting enough to replenish 5 months of wear and tear in the spirit and the soul, and the 2 weeks in China zapped quite a bit of my Xmen powers. So it is slightly worrying that the mission trip to Korat is less than 2 weeks away. I'm really thankful that Jen, Min Sin and Clem are on board the team; each of them has their own unique strengths - being prayerful and relational (Jen), being motherly and fun to the sec 1s (Min Sin) and being objective and task-oriented (Clem). As for myself, I am still working on those qualities, but my problem is that I kinda live on a short fuse; I find it hard to sustain the task-oriented mode or the relational mode for too long; anything more than a few days and I'll retreat into my own personal zone to space out.

So I think I need to space out for the next 2 weeks if I want to be effective for Him in Korat. Still working on the direction and trajectory for the mission trip. Somehow, I think He is putting the word 'relational' as the focus for the team. It makes sense to me, given that it is hard to really establish any concrete stuff in 7 days, and building good relationship with the field workers in Alpha Centre and the Korat kids will be a good stepping stone for future endeavors in Thailand.

I'm not thinking about Netherlands at this point in time.

Reason 1: Don't really have much time and energy to plan anything at this point in time. All I know is that I'm meeting my JC buddy in Brussels on 1 July to catch some world cup actions in a pub.

Reason 2: I don't know; feel more burdened than excited just thinking about it. I know what some might think: 'Jimmy the spoilt brat, who gets a blessing to the Netherlands but still complains about it'. Oh well, I must admit that it's true to some extent. But I find it hard to explain away the source of the burden; maybe some things just can't be explained away with words. Perhaps I'm feeling this way cos I'm jaded. Well, if there is anything positive that comes out from this sense of burden, it is the endorsement that certain dispositions in my heart remain unchanged.

pretty dull company over here

Recently, over the mission 'boot' camp, and the global day of prayer at the national stadium, a question struck me which I don't have an answer to it. I suppose this question has nothing to do with the mission fields per se, but rather the heart of the missionary.

One of the lessons that I received is that God has visions and dreams for us that are a hundred times better than our own plans - if only we take that first step to give up our own dreams.

I suppose most christians are familiar with that lesson. But personally speaking - and please pardon my sincere imperfect human opinion - I don't agree with that view. Or maybe I am just like that fish in a glassbowl which refuses to accept the view that there is indeed a bigger ocean out there waiting for me to embrace. I mean, if a good and loving God does want to send a message to one of His creations, i.e mortals like you and me, that He has a specific and divine purpose for me to seek and chase after His heart in the short cosmic time that I have on earth, shouldn't He convict my heart and not just my mind?

When I meant 'mind', I meant it as a metaphor to represent all my rationalities, knowledge and observations that I can process to make rational decisions. Over the past few months, I suppose I have gathered enough 'metaphors' to suggest that a door is closing in my life, through friend's advice, silence, and plain common sense.

To some degree, that hurts.

Of course, God is not expecting me to be a clown and put on a wide grin on my face in my everyday life. Besides, I rather be brutally honest with myself and perceive the supposingly colorful world in shades of black and white. Maybe in the last two to three years, I have learnt to appreciate the world in monotones, i.e to come to terms with a less than 100% joyful persona in dealing with myself. But is it possible that God expects a person to fulfill His divine purposes - plans that are a hundred times better than his own agendas - in a less than 100% joyful heart?

I don't know. I have yet to hear testimonies and stories of people who weep in their hearts while they serve God.

I'm smashing my head against the glassbowl to convict my heart that I can be joyful in my everyday life.