Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Heroes 2



Well, I've been a bit slow... and I don't really like to download stuff from the net. So anyway, starworld is finally showing season 2 of Heroes. I missed last tuesday's episode 1. Was coerced into some alumni stuff last saturday and I missed the repeat telecast too. Just caught it on the streaming version. Going to watch episode 2 now on tv. Most of the reviews have been rather harsh for season 2. But I don't really care. To me, it is a pretty hopeful drama... of dreamy characters who are weak in their humanity, but strong in their convictions. Haven't quite get going for my 'milo-truck' winning essay yet. Shall tune in to starworld now first, heh..

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Consider the Lilies (Matt 6)

Okie, not quite lilies, but big leaves in Vietnam :) I've been thinking how life becomes progressively more difficult and exciting as we grow older. I guess in recent weeks, I felt that the 'difficult' part is probably going to be more overwhelming than the 'exciting' part in my life. Shall try to focus on God as my Providence for this year.

It is quite hard for me to conceptualize a world without a bigger Being - a supernatural plane above the human plane. In terms of ethics, nature, beauty and sometimes silence, why would this world be the way it is? Couldn't it have been nothing at all? I suppose in Christian sense, faith is about envisioning the future, an objective future that History will come to an end one day, and yet an end that brings a new beginning in Creation. In the vast expanse of this tense-less time, the present become ever more meaningful, because we are doing something progressively good, even in the bad times. Faith - while an abstract and unquantifiable enigma - makes reasonable sense, if you give it some thought. And faith brings mystery, which makes life interesting; it makes life literally less predictable, which is not always a bad thing. It is good to have faith - in God, in friends, in time, in waiting, in prayer, and in life in general.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

The Fishing Net

Most of us, in one way or another, theorize the way we relate to our surroundings. Often, our theories are conditional on certain assumptions. Assumptions, on their own grounds, are often unconditional. For some, unconditional assumptions are based on reasoning. For others, they are based on religion. For the rest, they are based upon their own experiences, or observations, or gut feelings. For the last group, there are usually sufficient evidences to support their theories. In turn, their theories have a certain level of predictability. I think when we can go into the theory of theorizing, we need to suspend experiences, observations and gut feelings. Perhaps, for political theory, we need to suspend current affairs; social theory, the social world; economics, the market system. By suspending our experiences, we can have a certain confidence that our theories are not grounded in subjective interests - how we should perceive the world, how the world ought to function, how the world reflects our belief systems. There is a branch of theory - called critical theory - which has historically functioned as a way to question the way we theorize the social world. Of course, there are other branches of philosophy that dwell in the business of theorizing theories. But let's just use 'critical' theory for now. It is 'critical' in the sense that it can be subversive. It is also 'critical' in the sense that it offers a solution to unmask our various (precious) assumptions about the way we relate with the social, so that we can come to a better understanding of who we are, or why we are the way we are. Perhaps the word human 'emancipation' - which is a favorite word among year 1s and 2s - is a rather pretentious way of saying how we can better understand ourselves, in relations to others. In my opinion, this 'emancipation' thing, is possible only through reasoning. Yes, religion does help one to 'emancipate'; a closer word to religious emancipation might be 'epiphany', which is essentially a spiritual manifestation of Christ in or through the material world. But I'm not talking about that kind of 'emancipation'. I'm talking about a way of recognizing our own blind spots, or societal blind spots, so that we can better understand the world as we experience it - by way of reasoning. We can - and should(!) - reason in the way we cherish our religions, lest we become legalistic in our religious traditions. Still, I don't think 'emancipation' will therefore make someone happier. Why should we become 'happier' by virtue of reasoning? We become more aware of our surroundings, but we don't necessarily become happier. So perhaps, I am puzzled by people, who are keen to change political or social systems, as means to achieve human emancipation. Perhaps there are some who really want to emancipate in the sense that they want to understand their lives better, but my own unenlightened gut feeling is that people want to 'emancipate' because they want to be happy. So what is happiness? Michael Oakeshott says that he who keeps mending the fishing net catches no fish. I think he is right. We can suspend life and mend our theoretical nets eternally - reshaping our belief systems, challenging the assumptions of others, critiquing ourselves and others - and well, maybe there is a certain pleasure in that sort of thing. Perhaps it is pleasurable to live our lives according to our theories, or theory of theories. For me, when I try to live by my own theories, I become reclusive... I don't know why. Nothing wrong with reclusion. In fact, it is my own personal preference too. But I guess I'm mildly disturbed by my own theoretical source of reclusion. Maybe a response to myself, or rebuke against myself, is that the social world exists as a representation, and it doesn't even exist. Nothing exists except for the self - I think, therefore I am. So why even bother theorizing? We don't even need to suspend life, because life does not exist, in the descartian sense. I suppose in order to prevent reclusive tendencies, from 'theory' and within 'practice' (which I feel is a rather shoddy way of dichotomizing two modes of scientific inquiry), there is a need to suspend one's critical mind - not all the time, but for a while - for the purpose of catching some fishes along the way. And in that instantaneous moment when we suspend criticality, we can find happiness, and through happiness, our theories are reshaped, hopefully more complete. Maybe the fishes do not exist. Maybe the fishes are a manifestation of our imaginations. Maybe we are misrepresenting the 'objective fishes' out there. And maybe we'll catch some badly imagined fishes in the process. But at the very least, we are finally actualizing the purpose of the fishing net.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Recollecting Memories


I was here, at Shakespeare and Co. I suppose it brought back a certain nostalgia; a memory that has been concealed, almost forgotten, in time. Amnesia; don't you feel that the articulated difference between 'I was' and 'I am' can be quite a deliberate action of erasing one's original longing for an identity that was lost? A place that stood for temporality, loses meaning, in the light of deliberate amnesia. A place reinvigorates itself, in a space of infinite fleeting perfections. Cogito, ergo sum. That is as objective as memories can be, the negating distance between the cerebral and the emotional, entangled in an intricate web of sublimated intentions and motivations. All that I thought about myself, of others, count for nothing, in the light of deliberate amnesia. 'Things', in their various metaphorical expressions, can never be the same again. It is true. The space of infinite fleeting perfections dissolves into subjectivity, all too soon, in the light of deliberate amnesia.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

On a quiet Hill

It was nice to have a quiet New Year's day. A few of us head down to johnson's place for settlers (again) after covenant service. Cos it was a bit hard to find a parking lot, I told dan and 'bart' to go up first while I go find a place to do my dreadful parallel parking. Found a good spot round a bend at Pasir Panjang hill. It was then I heard some muffled booming noise in the sky. Turn out to be some firework-like flares. Reminded me of the fireworks that we saw coming from sentosa at vivo. I looked at my watch and it was 12 midnight. Stood there for a quiet moment to just gaze at the flares and enjoy the slight breeze. I don't really have new year resolutions, except to read as many books as possible; art history, social sciences, christianity, novels etc. Kind of in the midst of devising a schedule to systematize all the things that I've learnt and I want to learn. It is probably going to be the last year in which I have the luxury of time to read and write, so I'll make good use of it; 'probably' because I'll most likely do my GRE for fun and see how it goes from there. Sounds like I'm turning into a social recluse. By the way, this photo was taken in Sapa... one of my personal favorite photos in Vietnam. Happy new year everyone :)