Stepping out

I'm taking a one year break from serving the core team in Youth. It is indeed a welcome break. I suppose there are many reasons why I chose to step down for a while. One of the deeper reasons is that I do want to experience Him in a whole new way, or in the same way, but with a deeper awe. I feel that this engagement with God is all the more important for me personally when everything seems crazily uncertain for next year.

I do not know what next year will hold. Actually, I can foresee more valleys than summits. I can imagine heartbreaking or life-shaping decisions, and maybe moments where I might cower in fear rather than step up in faith. "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose" (Rom 8:28). The second part of this verse is a bit mystifying for me, but this is nonetheless an encouraging verse. Sometimes, I do not know if I love God more, or the goodness that loving God brings. Sometimes, it is difficult to conceptualize the idea of loving God in an asocial context, stripped of the goodness that He brings. At such times, I feel that it is better to just try to marvel at the idea of God, and in some sense, wish that this world will just melt away for there is nothing really good or worth possessing in this world, in comparison with the idea of being with Jesus.

I don't think that the world will melt away in 09. Maybe 2009 will be a back-to-basics of sort, to experience what it means to be loved by God.